HSPDaily

I Am a Highly Sensitive Person

I experience life a little differently than some people - and I am OK with that, now...

I dedicate this page to my husband, who has lovingly supported me as a highly sensitive person for most of our adult life. He does not understand me and tries his best to be responsive and sensitive to my needs. He is my balance and my rock and I love him tremendously for it.

Hi! My name is Yvette. Welcome to my space. If you are a person who is highly sensitive, I hope you find a connection here that enhances your life, a place where you find comfort, validation and self healing and nourishment for your Soul.

If you are a person who does not experience life as a highly sensitive person, but, you would like a better understanding of how a person who is highly sensitive might experience life a bit differently, I hope you find something here that is helpful to you.

Highly Sensitive People actually process things differently in their brain - it is real - it is equally experienced by men and women alike...

Lets's be up front about this - In sharing this, I am in no way trying to be special or "out there" or different on purpose - in the past I have tried to hide this part of me, and shrink back and isolate myself from the world. This has caused a lot of issues in my life - maybe due to my own thoughts and feeling inside feeling like an outcast or something. I have always wanted to fit in - however, now I choose to embrace this blessing of who I am.

I have always felt a little different than most people I have encountered my entire life. I have been repeatedly told that I am "too sensitive" and "too shy", "dramatic", "too quiet" and "pouty" and even "stuck up" or "snobby" and "crazy" and "voodoo" since I was a little girl. I was always being told to "smile" - If a person tells me now to "smile" I feel an intense anger and frustration begin to well up inside me and I just want to scream! I can remember not only family saying this to me, but friends and other people, too. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me, as it definitely made them uncomfortable and did not know how to handle me and my emotional demeanor.

Admittedly, being highly sensitive has caused issues in my life with people I am close with and others. Some people I am very close to just really don't know how to handle it and it seemingly makes them uncomfortable and they think I am selfish. I really try to be conscious and I don't do anything purposefully to make anyone feel uncomfortable or unvalidated - in fact, mostly, I try really hard to make others feel safe and comfortable and tip toe around situations at my own expense and in many cases my own emotional pain.

I absolutely cry easily - when I am happy, in love and feeling love & appreciation, sad, angry, frustrated, embarrassed, overwhelmed, you name it! I always have. And, this can be a problem to those around you if they do not experience life through high sensitivity processing. I experienced crying at work when I have allowed someone to speak to me in a way that was demeaning and insensitive and morally wrong, and felt tremendous anger & maybe even rage, and instead of telling that person to F*#@ OFF, I would end up crying and give the impression that I was weak and and that is was OK to continue that behavior and treatment.

In most cases, I will allow myself to suffer so another person or animal will be comfortable. I absolutely hate conflict & pain of any kind for another being.

I fall in love - HARD! It is very emotional, spiritual and physical - enough said.

I deeply love and appreciate things in a way that very few people I know seem to. I get highly emotional when listening to music, especially a beautiful overture or something that evokes passion (especially classical music - but I have been known to get emotional over a really meaningful rock and roll song especially listening to a freakin' awesome guitar rif or guitar solo, or voice, or other music, too). I recall as a young teen, laying on the floor between 2 speakers right up near my head on both sides, so I could hear every note, every sound as loud as I could possibly stand, and just reveling in the joy of the song in the moment. It brought me such pleasure to hear it this way! I hear the most intricate sounds that seem unnoticed by others around me. I find absolute beauty and mysticism in nature and easily weep with gratitude, the intricacies of leaves and patterns in wood and rocks, the smell of fruit, (yes, I am getting choked up just thinking about these things), the crevices and patterns in gemstones as I work with them in my jewelry designs, the flavor and scent of dishes my husband cooks or out to dinner at a nice restaurant, the feeling of certain fabrics on my skin just makes me high or cringe and want to explode, the touch of a loved one can make me feel like crying with emotion and appreciation or I can sense something off even evil or an intent from the touch of another, the smell and sound of rain can take over my senses with pleasure and joy, oh and the sound of the ocean just puts me in a meditative state of zen, yet the drip of water in a sink can send me over the edge in irritation. I recall walking through the woods one afternoon, and the sound of the buzzing cicadas which instantly took me to another place in my mind without my control, zen, joy, deep love, and of course tears! People in my life look at me like I am loco - most of my adult life I have tried to hide this side of me so others are not uncomfortable around me and so I do not receive their words of criticism.

Which takes me to the dark side of living as a highly sensitive person - I can also be taken out of these highs in an instant just as easily, and experience very, deep lows inside with a glance from another person, a harsh word, something I view on TV or hear another person talking about. even an irritating sound or expression. I experience mild criticism (and harsh criticism) and rejection extremely personally and way over the edge, and as if it was meant to actually kill me and harm me with evil - it's just the way my brain receives it. I immediately feel deep remorse, deep self loathing, worthless and deep depression as if life is not worth living. Again, people in my life look at me as if I am loco and don't know how to respond. I just retreat into my personal space so I don't shower others with my negative energy and then as suddenly as it begins, it is over. I also use alternative methods to help relieve this now which I did not have access to most of my life - Find out more here and am passionate about helping others heal from trauma, grief and negative self talk.

I'll pause for a moment to touch on that here - before I knew what HSP (high sensitivity processing or highly sensitive person) was, I thought there was something "wrong" with me - my entire life. I felt "wrong" for being who I was and displaying certain traits - I experience the world with such sensitivity to everything around me and didn't understand why, however, since finding out about HSP and the fact that I was actually just born with a brain that processes my experiences differently than some, not only have I found a sense of peace in myself with who I am, however it has also enhanced what I do as an Energy Correction practitioner - I allow myself to be who I am, a person who senses things in a different way, I pick up on very subtle clues and energies, which has actually enhanced all the work I do and in my practice working with other toward self healing in a very profound manner and my jewelry designs have completely changed and become much more meaningful and beautiful and I actually feel the energy of the stones and items I work with differently with such joy and appreciation and connection.

Because of all of these things, I tend to try to be perfect and very self judging, especially when it is something I am doing for someone else - the slightest comment, can set me into a deep self hatred in an instant. And, I may take what a person said so very wrong and twist it all around inside my thoughts until I feel absolutely no self worth. This can cause me to make more mistakes or forget things that I normally would not forget in an effort to appear perfect even though I feel no self worth on the inside at that time - again, I now have a better understanding of this trait and the tools to help myself release this quickly.

I must add, that in my research and experience as a highly sensitive person, it is my understanding that if a highly sensitive person has also experienced serious childhood trauma (ie: sexual abuse, physical abuse, loss, etc.) the traits of being highly sensitive can be intensified & accentuated - yes, that explains my life. I experienced repeated sexual trauma between the age of 6-8 years old and again as a teen - I have done a lot of self healing work on these traumas with the tools I have in my life now.

In general, most of my life, I have been hyper-sensitive to the energies around me and life in general - yes, I also feel the emotions and energies of the world as well - strange as it may seem. And, I have an deep intense passion for helping the world heal of all trauma and pain, not just humans, but animals and all suffering - which I have had to realize that I am one person, however, because it is so deep inside of me and such a strong passion and desire, it has become part of my life and I have to do it from a place inside of me that calls intensely to be answered. I can sometimes feel that someone specific is asking for help in healing something and I feel compelled to answer that silent request.

In addition, the slightest sounds can make me feel like exploding from the inside - tick tock of a clock, someone tapping a pen, the sound of certain fabric rubbing against another fabric, someone else or my own chewing sound, a dog licking, dripping water in a sink, our dogs barking excessively when someone comes to the door just send me over the edge in irritation. For many years, I have kept a small fan next to my side of the bed, winter or summer, all seasons, 24/7 - it drowns out all noise that has this intense effect on my senses.

I feel other peoples energy and moods both positive and negative, in a very powerful way. I actually take on their mood or energy very easily and I now honor myself and take measures to protect myself and release other's negative energy that affects my energy and sometimes, I just need to walk away and breathe and release.

I am and have always been sort of a loner and am not into large gatherings and parties - I tend to sit off to the side by myself or in a very small group and pretty much rarely say anything. People think I am shy, quiet and snobbish. I am quiet and somewhat shy until I get to know you and feel safe with you. I am not a snob, I am just very careful about what I say, how I say it, and I choose my words very wisely, and in many cases, think of what to say way too late in the conversation and at that point it is moot. I over analyze basically anything and everything even to my own frustration.

. When we have company, like our family with my siblings and their children over (which is rare), I find that I have pretend to use the bathroom, and retreat to our bedroom to just sit and breathe deeply for a few minutes to release anxiety from all the noise, chaos and energy from others - it is too overwhelming. Even just having a few people over, it out of sorts for me and sometimes too much energy at once.

I love shopping, however, can only handle it for so long, I end up suddenly feeling overwhelmed and just need to go home "right now" - I can only explain this as feeling like I am going to explode from the inside and need to get away. I love my music loud - any kind of music - however, at a certain point, I suddenly get overwhelmed from the pleasure I felt moments ago listening to it. This is another reason I avoid watching negative things on TV at all cost. I end up taking on the emotions as if it were mine.

I can smell the most insignificant scent that no one else even notices or is even bothered by, and in some cases it makes me feel extremely nauseous and even repulsed as if it were an evil entity. I am also elated to tears with scents that I love. I am very sensitive to other people's "personal scent" that emits from their body.

I am very sensitive to clothing I wear and always have to remove all tags and won't even bother wearing certain fabrics and styles as they intensely bother me and I just want to rip them off. I can feel the smallest hair stuck in a sweater and it makes me bonkers until I can remove it - or a seam that is sewn off grain and it drives me bananas on my skin. Yet, other fabrics are so pleasurable against my skin that I just revel in the way it makes me feel without words to explain it.

I experience temperature changes quickly and more intensely and become hot and cold on the drop of a dime it seems. This has always been especially true in the heat since I was young - I tend to feel like passing out very easily in the sun and heat - it doesn't even have to be excessive heat. I have had heat poisoning multiple times.

And, I love, love, love physical touch - if it is from someone I feel safe with, like my husband and children and I love to hug those close to me. I can remember when I was young, waking up to find that I was gently caressing and tickling my own arms in my sleep feeling the sensation on my skin. It was wonderful and soothing and actually used this to soothe myself to sleep sometimes when I was little and into my teens. I have only met one other person in my life who admitted this to me openly before I even mentioned this about myself.

I have an intense love and connection with animals, and find tremendous joy in having them in our home. I feel an amazing sense of connection and peace with animals both my own and in the world.

If I have too many tasks, I get crazy inside and feel like exploding. I can't focus easily - and I am easily distracted going from one room to the next - finding something in each room that needs to be completed and end up feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted before I even begin. For me, keeping lists can sometimes be so very self rewarding and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I check things off if I stick to the list and don't get sidetracked!

Don't let me go hungry! I found out there is a word called "hangry" - I have experienced this my entire life, especially since I tend to get low blood sugar sometimes. I have always kept low carb snacks with me and feel a need to have small snacks frequently and freak out if I begin feeling hungry - yes - hangry - I get angry and panicky and don't feel like I can control it. My spouse, has never understood this especially, or a lot of the other traits I experience for that matter, even though I know he tries to be supportive.

Change is overwhelming - I need a lot of time to process what is coming as change is concerned. Just trust me on this, it is not good, and I just need to cry and sort it all out inside. Then sometimes it feels as if a switch is turned on and all is well. I recall this happening many years ago when we were losing our home and decided to make a move - again, my husband didn't seem to understand what I was going through. I could not accept it. I was not ready. Internally, I had to let it all process through me, and then one day, I literally woke up and felt fine and said, "OK, I am ready to move". Even now, as I recall this, the emotions come flooding back, a sense of relief and I just "let go".

I am highly sensitive to everything that is going on around me in every moment even if it seems as if I am inattentive, oblivious and clueless. I know, every sound, see things, hear things, notice scents, feel things, and pick up on things that no one cares about or even realizes is going on around them and even denies it if I bring it up, as if it is all in my head even if I witness it directly.

Yes, this also extends into the spiritual realm, which makes some people really uncomfortable - and I can no longer apologize for this part of me as I have in the past - it has been there all of my life as far back as I can recall, I have avoided speaking about this to even people close to me. I can feel energies of angels or whatever around me sometimes, and I have felt connection and a different sense of communication. When I allow myself to experience it fully, the only way I can explain it is a complete sense of the most profound Love around me and a knowing-ness of Peace & Unconditional Love and all is well and sometimes I feel words coming to me as if being spoken directly to me inside. When this happens, it is the most wonderful experience and blessing and I want it to continue without end. This happens during meditation and outside of meditation unexpectedly. Sometimes I have felt as if I have received a request from someone who is not physically with me in the moment and I have an intense pull to answer such as with my work as an Energy Correction practitioner directed toward them. The pull is so intense that I can not refuse. I had this experience most recently with someone I know that has cancer. Out of the blue, I just saw her, felt her and heard the words "Please help me" - the pull was so strong, that I had to stop what I was doing, and do what was asked of me.
I also frequently experience a knowing of something about to happen. Sometimes I speak of it but mostly I just keep it to myself because it can sometimes freak people out and annoy them.

Let's save intimacy and sex for another post! That can be a whole other subject, especially with sexual trauma added into the equation.

My experience in exploring the world as a highly sensitive person and acknowledging the aspects and traits has actually helped me self heal and feel a different sense of validation and it has been very emotionally healing.

I was introduced to HSP through a dear friend - who thought this information might be helpful to me. I am forever grateful to her. It has been so very emotional for me, reading about other people who experience the world as a highly sensitive person and how they have gone through similar issues their whole life until finding this research by Dr. Elaine Aron and her husband. I encourage you to visit here to find out more. It has been found that more than 100 species here on earth experience life as highly sensitive - I find this amazing and astounding and beautiful! I feel that it brings balance to the world, and we ALL have something different and helpful to offer in this world.

In my research since being introduced to HSP and the traits of a highly sensitive person, I can honestly say that it has been very emotional and so validating for me in my self healing journey. I am no different than someone who is blonde, brunette, tall, short, blue eyes, brown eyes, etc. It is just different and not at all wrong, or an illness to be FIXED. I have actually had multiple people ask me "well, you have methods to fix that, right?" - since they are familiar with the work I use in my practice in my own life and with others. And, I actually felt pissed off at first, and replied, "no, there is nothing wrong with me. It is just how I experience the world and I am choosing to view it as a blessing instead of a hindrance, as if I am ill or something is wrong with me" - which is the way I saw myself my whole life up until this point......

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